Faithful Graciousness

The reciprocal relationship that benefits our church communities

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you” (Hebrews 13:17, ESV).

In a world where spiritual abuse is a serious concern, the directive to "obey your leaders and submit to them" comes with certain risks. It’s easy to hesitate to draw attention to this verse for fear of being misunderstood. Yet this isn't a summons to blind compliance, but an invitation to a partnership that benefits both leaders and congregants.

Re-envisioning Submission

Before proceeding, let’s acknowledge that the misuse of power is a significant concern that necessitates proactive measures.¹ Let’s also acknowledge this verse anticipates our apprehension and offers some reassurance that leaders ‘will have to give an account.’

Our advantage as believers is that we are free (Galatians 5:1, John 8:36). We do good without needing credit, and we give without needing anything back in return. As slaves to Christ, we’ve found the freedom people are looking for in other places.

Non-believers have yet to discover this freedom. They live for the approval of others because they don’t know the approval of God. As slaves to sin, they are controlled by their circumstances, desires, and fears—whether it be fear of others, fear of failure, or fear of the future.

On top of this, the world defines ‘freedom’ as the removal of limitations: no rules, no boundaries, and no submission. But the world fails to realise this is false freedom. We were designed for a purpose, and only by living within our purpose do we find freedom.²

This means we don't obey because we want to, because we have naturally agreeable personalities, or because we’re afraid of the consequences. Instead of focusing on feelings, or the power of the leader, we submit because of our commitment to God.

During New Testament times there was Nero, the Roman emperor who persecuted Christians. There was Pontius Pilate, who handed Jesus over to be crucified. There was Felix, who imprisoned Paul. Yet still, Peter called for people to be subject to these institutions.

Don’t do this for the sake of the leader, whether they’re good or bad——do this ‘for the Lord’s sake’ (1 Peter 2:13, ESV). Why? So that by doing good ‘you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people’ (1 Peter 2:15, ESV).

Certainly, safeguards are important. However, approaching Hebrews 13:17 with immediate trepidation can cause us to overlook the author's concern about what is "no advantage" to us.

In the context of this verse, the call to submission is more about the benefits of honouring God's framework than it is about human imperfections.

So, what is the advantage?

A Reciprocal Relationship

This verse reveals a call to lighten our leaders’ burdens. Jared Wilson refers to this as ‘faithful graciousness’ — which at its core involves a productive presence (choosing to glorify Christ with our words and deeds), rather than a critical spirit.

Wilson explains, “Faithful graciousness works toward being low-maintenance, not working at any of those puny-hearted and petty things that cause pastors to groan.”³

Leaders, Pursue Your Own Joy

Joy is essential for pastoral duty: "Let them do this with joy" (Hebrews 13:17, ESV). If a leader neglects this aspect of their ministry, they risk becoming cynical or indifferent and will eventually fail to serve their community effectively. Leaders must nurture their joy, as any lack cannot be blamed solely on the congregation.

George Müller hints at this when he writes:

“The first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished”.⁴

Congregants, Pursue Your Leaders Joy

By collaborating effectively, congregants can help minimise groaning and maximise joy. The rationale is that if leaders are forced to carry out their duties with groaning, it will be of no advantage to the congregation.

Essentially, the congregation’s joy depends on their leaders' joy. The leader seeks his joy, and the people seek the leader’s joy for the sake of their joy.

This reciprocal relationship between the joy of the leader and the joy of the people, when functioning well, underscores the beauty of the church and the power of the community.

Preserving Joy in Our Community

Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations often undermine the joy shared between leaders and congregants. Individuals can enter a church with idealised visions of unwavering support, perfect leadership, and a faultless community.

When reality reveals a congregation of imperfect individuals, disappointment and disillusionment can set in, and the joy that was meant to bind the community together can diminish.

To overcome this, both congregants and leaders can pursue practical steps to help foster an authentic community—and in so doing preserve joy:

• Embrace Reality with Grace: Recognise that the church is comprised of flawed individuals on their own faith journeys. Instead of focusing on imperfections, look for ways in which the community is striving toward Christlikeness. This shift in perspective allows room for grace and patience with one another.

• Manage Expectations: Adjust your expectations to view the church as a community where growth and transformation happen among imperfect people. Understand that everyone, including leaders, is on a journey of development.

• Love Over Ideals: As Dietrich Bonhoeffer suggested, prioritise loving the actual community over clinging to a dream of what the community should be.⁵ This involves accepting people as they are, supporting them with love, and acknowledging the valuable role each person plays, despite their imperfections.

• Community Involvement: Take proactive steps to cultivate the kind of community you envisage. Engage with others by volunteering, leading, or simply being present and supportive. Open your heart and home to those around you. Demonstrate Christlike hospitality and kindness.

• Foster Open Communication: Encourage a culture of open dialogue within the church. Create safe spaces where members and leaders can express frustrations or concerns without fear of judgment or retribution. This can help resolve conflicts and nurture unity.

This reciprocal relationship invites us to reflect on our daily choices. Do our interactions—be they in the form of likes, dislikes, or criticisms—contribute to easing or exacerbating pastoral challenges?

Our approach, whether anchored in grudges or grace, plays a crucial role in shaping the spiritual renewal of our faith community.

As Proverbs 27:17 illustrates, "iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another." Like a sculptor who chisels beauty from rough stone, our consistent support and encouragement for our leaders refine and elevate our church community.

By doing so, we embody the church as God envisions—a community characterised by faithful graciousness that helps bring a foretaste of the Kingdom of God to earth.

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For further exploration of this topic and insights into the context of Hebrews 13:7-17, please refer to the article titled “Remembering Our Leaders: A Deeper Look at Hebrews 13:7-17 and the Church’s Reciprocal Relationship”.

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1. This is meant to acknowledge an important issue, albeit one that is not the primary focus of this article. While this is not an exhaustive list, it contains ways of defusing unhealthy power dynamics:

• Share Leadership Responsibilities: Ensure multiple voices preach and lead. This prevents the church from becoming centred around one individual's voice and authority. Rotating the preaching among different people helps decentralise power.

• Embrace and Honour Diversity: Create an environment which allows different cultures and languages to be represented and respected in worship services. Encourage the majority culture to make space for minorities to take on roles.

• Foster Accountability and Transparency: Hold regular meetings for members to discuss matters and make decisions collaboratively. Be open about financial matters, including pastoral salaries, to build trust and allow members to openly voice concerns.

• Encourage Open Dialogues on Tough Issues: Establish environments where diverse opinions on sensitive topics can be discussed without fear. Allow laypersons to lead discussions, rather than restricting conversations to pastoral authority.

• Value All Members Equally: Avoid giving preferential treatment based on wealth or influence. Treat everyone as a valued part of the church family, regardless of their socio-economic status or contribution.

• Admit Mistakes and Listen to Feedback: Church leaders should be willing to admit errors publicly and make changes based on congregational feedback. Demonstrating humility and a willingness to adapt shows genuine respect for the congregation's input.

2. Timothy Keller provides an insightful illustration of the relationship between freedom and the confinements of godly purpose: “Imagine a fish. The fish is in the water. But the fish says, “I hate being confined to the water. It’s not fair. I don’t like this restriction. I want to be free.” The fish realises it has never been outside the river and up on the land. So the fish decides, “I’m going to go…” Once it gets up on the land, it finds itself flopping around and gasping for breath—close to death. Why? Because the fish isn’t designed for the land. But if you put the fish back in the water, it will flick its tail and suddenly swim off. Why? Because it’s in the environment it was built for.”

3. Jared Wilson, Encourage Leaders with Faithful Graciousness

4. George Muller, Autobiography, 1:271

5. “Every human wish-dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a church more than the Christian church itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial. God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together).